if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her facebook's as public as her vagina
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
