Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize