he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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