1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize