Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
