oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
