So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
