It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this will be a night to untag.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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