I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
