what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
