So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize