Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
