Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize