do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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