Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
