You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pants are for mortals
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