I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
