I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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