And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
