VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
