Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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