No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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