In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
