Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
