so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
