i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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