Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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