Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
