he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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