I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
