At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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