More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
