just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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