I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
