Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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