hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If I die, sorry about rent.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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