I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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