you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize