He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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