Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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