i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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