So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
