sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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