I cockslap morals
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
cat food counts as protein by the way
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
