Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
