Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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