okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
