I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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