Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
