We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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