Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize