So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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