he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
