walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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