I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
